Jury Dirty
I’m still here! I’ve been waiting over an hour for a trial to start, but it’s taking forever because…I have no idea. I want to cry. Inside I am crying. It’s a lot like being in detention, but we didn’t...
View ArticleLITERAL BLIND FURY
So today I go to yoga. Because I want to, you know, “step into the flow of the universe” and “align mind, body, spirit” and “be what is” (whatever that means). So I go to the studio and take the mat...
View ArticleThe Blindside
No glasses = sad times. I called the yoga studio and went back and looked again. I also left a note on my cubbyhole asking people to look in their holes, which incidentally your mom also said last...
View ArticleSeeing is Believing
I can see! I can see! My glasses arrived in the mail and I got lenses and now I can see. The gift of sight is a precious gift, remember that. I was using my old glasses before which had severely...
View ArticlePutting the Ho in Hollister
This afternoon my co-worker and I were walking across the street to get lunch. On most days, I’d say eating is a real pain in the ass. Sometimes I wish I had just eaten so I could stop thinking about...
View ArticleMouth to Mouth Open Mic (which sounds gross but isn’t)
Attention lovers! I am a featured reader/speaker at the Asian American Writers’ Workshop tomorrow night! It’s open to everyone, whether you’re Asian or not, whether you’re American or not, or whether...
View ArticleELEPHANT PARTY
The elephants who live upstairs (specifically, on top of my head) had an elephant party where they invited other elephants to come and practice Irish river dance and also Dutch clogging and Spanish...
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Urban Omnibus
I wrote an essay for Urban Omnibus, a project/site of the Architectural League of NY. It’s about the city’s grid and life in general. You can read it right here. WARNING: You will not find photos of...
View ArticleFrom the DEPARTMENT OF AWESOME NEWS:
OH SHIT LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! I finished the first draft of Letters to You and All Your Friends! I turned it in two weeks ago and also MOVED OUT OF MY SHITBOX APARTMENT. Two extremely momentous occasions...
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Shut Up, You’re Welcome
OMG! Here’s the deal. My book Letters to You and All Your Friends is now called SHUT UP, YOU’RE WELCOME. When I told my mother this, she cringed and tsk-tsked me. So now you know it’s a great fucking...
View ArticleReturn of the Shredi
Every weekend, someone in my neighborhood straps on his guitar, faces his amp out the window, and lets it rip on full crank. He sounds like one part Ted Nugent and all parts suck. It’s awful. It’s like...
View ArticleNiagara Fails
For the first time ever, my parents are visiting me in New York. Now I know what you’re thinking: Annie, how is it even possible that your parents have NEVER visited you in NYC? The short answer is...
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Me and Steven Seagal
It turns out that me and Steven Seagal have a lot in common. We both have ponytails. We both like Ukrainian food. The End.
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Niagara Fails Was a Success
I survived my trip to Niagara Falls with my parents. So in this sense, it was a success. Another success: No one fell down the falls and died. However, my father kept looking over the edge and saying,...
View ArticleAn Imaginary Conversation Between My Neighbors
“You know what I feel like doing?” “Dancing?” “Yes! What else?” “Singing show tunes?” “Yes! What else?” “Playing the ukelele?” “Yes! It’ll be fun!” “It’s a great time to play the ukelele.” -My...
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People Are Being Nice and Saying Nice Things
People are saying nice things about SHUT UP, YOU’RE WELCOME! Yay! First, Meg Cabot has been recommending my book all over town, including the official publication of hotels everywhere, USA Today. This...
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SCandynavian Part II: Electric Bugaloo/Havana Nights
Today I returned to the Scandinavian candy store, and bought $10 worth of candy, which is kind of a lot of money, but we all know things are more expensive in Scandinavia. As the saying goes, you’ve...
View ArticleWhat are you doing May 1?
New York City, holla back! Let me ask you something: What are you doing Thursday? Why not come to a reading featuring me and two of our best friends from Canada? Thursday, May 1 at Word Up Community...
View ArticleSad-inavian
It is with great sadness that I report SCandynavian, our mildly loved Scandinavian candy store has closed. I walked past it today and noticed that the lights were off and all the candy had been removed...
View ArticleThe Moth in St. Paul
Are you in Minnesota? Are you in St. Paul or Minneapolis or the environs? Do you like to listen to stories? Do you like cheese curds? Do you love cheese curds? If you answered yes to the questions...
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